It's obviously not the first time that a female protestor is stripped bare by men and women of The Transformed Uganda Police Force. The glaring moment a skirt was forced down a female's knee was when some hounds in police uniform, most of them female, descended on Lady Honourable Nabilah Ssempala like locusts, and left her cursing why she had gone against sound advice as not to wear tight-jean trousers that morning.

She would argue that she wasn't expecting to be undressed, as she set out to pay homage to her constituents in Owino market. Typical of a saying in my language: "what lands in your eye comes unannounced."

The man who "answers fire with fire" would later make fun of Nabilah, saying she was undressed because of her charming beauty. He had warned his "dear daughter" that her beauty would cost her heavily, and here it was. 

Nabilah set the stage for other female demonstrators to receive their fair share of strippings. At the height of their madness, some IPC women, months ago, were reportedly undressed for "holding an unlawful assembly". They took the demonstration to Kiggundu's gate, demanding that Kiggundu and his commissioners resign and a new team appointed.

The IPC women had draped nothing more than "lesus" (loin cloths). They seemed to have their game well planned, cognizant that their presence would elicit fury from powers that be, and Kale's boys and girls were right at the corner. The "lesus" made it easy for IPC sisters to be undressed as Kale's boys went about it with such ease, relish and satisfaction.

As the AU summit came to a close, there were countrywide anti-EC demonstrations, this time championed by a group called National Association for Free and Fair Elections (NAFFE).

The group is headed by Margaret Wokuri, a woman who hates Mzee with all her belongings. This woman organised other women lumpen-proletariats to take to the streets, most of whom ended up being undressed by the usual boys. I didn't see Margaret herself undressed as she only watched the melee from a safe distance.

With elections days away, we are bound to see more demonstrations and counter-demonstrations. And this means more and more females going naked on our streets. I have always wondered why Kale's boys can't behold the spectre of fully-dressed female protestors.

If it's the clothes that irritate Kale's boys, then our sisters should learn to play the game in accordance with the dictates of the day. Other than march on the streets with skirts and tops on, they should just march from their dwellings stuck-naked, and take on the streets. I am most certain that Kale's boys would find no qualms with them since there won't be any attire for them to pull down.

This could offer a safe passage to our sisters since Kale’s  boys would only standby and watch the procession with glee, cheers and immense pleasure- their mouths dripping with saliva!

This could save the police costs of procuring tear-gas, water cannons, pepper spays, kibokos, and other paraphernalia for public order management. Uganda for once, and forevermore, would be at peace, with naked demonstrators and Kale's boys dinning at the same table. Talk of lions eating grass with lambs!

Besigye, no doubt, would be the right-hand beneficiary of this scenario, given that teargas has become his daily bread from the time he set to challenge his commander-in-chief.

I could see Uganda ranked as a perfect democracy with unbridled rights to assembly, expression and speech.
Put another way, the naked female demonstrators would make it possible for Besigye and Co. to take over government. Assuming they turned up in their millions- stuck-naked- from east, west, north, south and central, then marched to statehouse.

Nothing would actually stop them from disarming the PGB boys and subsequently taking Mzee hostage. The PGB boys would give in to the charming naked bodies just like Kale's boys.

One would ask why Besigye is using women to shore his fight to statehouse. He knows that women add piquancy to everything. He has since learnt from his master who has always used women to earn his stay at statehouse for life. Mzee knows that the way to life- presidency is through a woman's heart- and he knows where to tap a woman where it tickles the most. (Some women complain that Besigye's hands are of rough texture: he sores their flesh!)

No woman would claim to vote against Mzee. He has given them power and authority to rebel against their husbands at will. (The emancipation thing!) Women form the stuff of Mzee's NRM aristocracy- a deputy speaker, deputy chief justice, finance minister, a vice president at one time…What more would a woman want from Mzee, different from what Besigye would offer?

But by the look of things, Besigye is steadily eating into Mzee's women. He has pulled many of them to his side- the ones that are being undressed on our streets. Other than threaten to use violence to force Mzee out, Besigye should just train his women to march naked on streets. The shaky bottoms and pendulous breasts will surely disarm PGB, and statehouse shall be his. Over to you KB.

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