Our constitution places absolute power in the hands of peasants. All power belongs to peasants who shall exercise their democratic rights in accordance with the constitution. The peasants have that power to reject or play along with Mzee and his cronies.

Though Mzee's life hangs on peasants' goodwill, the retired fire-spitting Supreme Court judge, Justice Kanyeihamba, once asked how peasants could decide the county's future, noting that many of them are illiterate folks whose main preoccupation is "enguli" and what have you.

That notwithstanding, over the years, I have come to admire the life of Mzee's peasants. I have gone through life's hustles and agonies, trying to make it to the top and big just like many of my friends who are cushioned in Mzee's lavishness, as the peasants go about their lives with such ease and apathy. 

The peasants are the only folks in Mzee's Uganda who do not mind about poor roads, bad hospitals, poor quality of education, corruption or any other rot in government.

When you tell them about corruption and the plunder of our economy by Mzee's retinue, the peasants would not know how it is possible for one minister to own over Shs. 300 billion, scattered around in different bank accounts, just in Uganda alone.

Infact the peasants would spite at you if you brought it to them that one of their own was corrupt. Not when their son visits them every now and then, and each visit is punctuated by good rounds of enguli and kwete, adungu, mchomo and merry-making until the fellow cruises back to Kampala leaving behind a thick trail of diesel fumes and dust.

Most of these folks enjoy dust and car fumes. The fumes appeal well to their noses. To them, seeing fuel-guzzling monsters jerk dust to their eyes is a sign of good tidings that their small town is going somewhere. So, they would lynch you if you ever insulted their ears as to tell them that any of their sons was corrupt. They would desire that their "clever sons" do some more looting so as to keep a steady flow of car-fumes.

Mzee's peasants would lift you shoulder-high if you gave them a doze of sleep. They adore sleep: the number one reason they have always heaped their votes at Mzee's feet. Mzee saved them from sleepless nights owing to pings of bullets that rocked the country during the days of "idiots" in power.

Mzee has been able to live side-by-side with his peasants because they fear ghosts. Word went round that in the 2006 general elections, when he was begging peasants for votes, Mzee would scare those damn peasants out of their pants by telling them that if they did not vote 'wisely', Obote would resurrect from his grave to again take away their much cherished sleep.

Before Obote's death, Mzee would tell the Baganda peasants that if they did not vote him, Obote would come back, and for sure no Muganda, whether peasant or opulent, would desire their nemesis to ever set-foot on "Buganda soil".

As days have gone by, the peasant has learnt to accept his glorious status in Mzee's Uganda. During the days of the "idiots", the peasants would stage demonstration after demonstration demanding a fair pay for their coffee and cotton.

Those peasants were very powerful and faired sumptuously. They grew their coffee and sent their children to the best schools at the time.

The "idiots" miscalculated by giving them a better deal in terms of sound infrastructure, better hospitals stuffed with medicine, quality education, and a reason to live. I say this was a gross blunder since the peasants were empowered economically, and they soon began making political agitations in terms of useless demonstrations- as trivial as demanding a hike in coffee and cotton prices! 

By juxtaposition, Mzee's peasants are cool-headed. They are patriotic and cherish their humble status. They do not give a damn whether they eat or not- going to bed is their life. They do not care about voting for change since to them, change is unnecessary as long as they enjoy their sleep to the fullest.

I once asked the peasants of my village why, year-in and year-out, they have given Mzee their votes. Their answer was that Mzee has given them chance to enjoy the delicacy of "Mugongo Wasi" (fish- rejects), and that they had gotten fed-up of fleshy tilapia, moreover, the "idiots" would not permit them that one chance to suck bones, like they are freely doing in Mzee's days.

As the top hyenas out-do each in a show of greed of who-takes-what- now that the looting has become more obscene than ever- the peasants are turning on their papyrus on empty stomachs, with nothing to eat save their spittle. They are happy gnashing and flashing their teeth in grinding poverty- for poverty is their lot.

This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it