Last week, distinguished Members of Parliament invested valuable Legislative Time in discussing what they billed as the terrifying threat of a new police uniform whose resemblance they knew nothing about. 

Spearheading the intellectual exercise was Makindye West's Hon Hussein Kyanjo, who as a potential IPC presidential candidate, entertains hopes of becoming Uganda's Commander in Chief of the Armed Forces. And voters tell me that a 'President Kyanjo' cannot be ruled out of the picture…

Shabby Shabab
Trouble came with the dastardly sneak attack on Uganda by Al Shabab (or whatever they are called) terrorists, which claimed scores of lives and maimed dozens more. Several hours later, I was among those pleasantly surprised to see a new force on the streets, whose outfit somewhat comforted me, even if naively.

Little did I know that the same uniform was having the opposite effect on Ugandans whom I mistook to be fellow victims of the terrorist attack. Rather than deriving comfort from the tough-looking Uganda Police terrorist-hunters, these brethren say they were terrified!

Days earlier, Presidential Press Secretary Joseph Tamale Mirundi had just informed a radio audience that the Uganda Police Force had 16 different sets of uniforms for specific duties and occasions.

One would have expected Ugandans to unite as one and assist law-enforcement organs in identifying and nailing the terrorists, but we were swiftly diverted to the rights of suspects and the manner in which such suspects should (OR SHOULD NOT) be apprehended.

Terrified Wananchi?
Members of Parliament then brought forth allegations that ordinary Wananchi were living in terror ever since they saw the blue camouflage uniform of the Uganda Police Force. They claimed that the people who had voted them into Parliament were demanding an explanation on where the uniform came from and why it resembled that of the UPDF.

By inference, the Wananchi who might have had vital information on the terrorists became so afraid of the new uniform that they withheld it. But not even one MP (or any other uniform-crazed politician) assisted police with the information which the terrified voter failed to offer police on account of their new terrifying uniform. I heard one MP brazenly stating that ordinary Ugandans were so afraid of anything resembling military fatigues that the latest addition (by police) was the last straw.

However, this MP had conveniently forgotten the fact that he and most of those who think like him had not raised any hullabaloo when Uganda Police unveiled their black and brown camouflage uniform for the anti-stock-theft unit. Nothing said when officers donned their azure shirts and I heard nothing when the anti-terror unit appeared in jet-black. What made this new uniform so unique to our legislators?

The 1982 Disaster
In 1982, several soldiers and police officers lost their lives in gun battles between the Uganda National Liberation Army (UNLA) and the Uganda Police Special Force.

Trouble was that the UNLA were taken by surprise to see columns of armed men in brown camouflage uniforms marching along Bombo Road into the city centre. That side of the country meant Luweero, which might mean an invasion by Yoweri Museveni's National Resistance Army rebels. I think Col. Shaban Bantariza, Maj. Charles Kamya, Lt. Frank Kanzira, Eston Mukwaya of the Uganda Police and other former students at Caltec Academy Makerere (Wing B) remember this incident vividly.

By the time UNLA realised that the enemy with whom they were exchanging fire was actually a friend, many had fallen… But this did not apply to the recent scenario because, as the Interior Minister Mzee Kirunda explained, all security services were aware of the new uniform.

Inverted Pyramid
I spoke to a few police officers whose names will not appear here because the official police spokesman, Afende Judith Nabakooba did not permit them to speak to me.

All of them were surprised that they had got all this attention merely because of a uniform and prayed that the same attention should be directed at the conditions in which they are expected to uphold law and order. "I wish the honorable MPs had visited some of our barracks and returned to parliament with the same passion they demonstrated over the new uniform," said an aging constable.

An Assistant Inspector of Police (AIP) who is also a graduate of the National Leadership Institute Kyankwanzi said the scale of priorities adopted by the MPs was like an inverted pyramid. "I wish they had adduced evidence that money for the new uniforms had been diverted from our welfare or that it could instead have constructed modern housing units in our barracks.

To merely complain that they were shocked by a mere uniform, transforming their cultivated surprise into a national disaster has amazed us", he commented.

Remystifying Guns
This set me thinking that the NRM's Political Education and Military Science lessons, which were designed to demystify the gun and democratise the means of violence are being studiously deleted from our people's psyche. Now our people are being encouraged to fear clothes rather than the people who might don these clothes!

Surprisingly, all MPs would flee from a naked night-dancer (omusezi) and seek refuge at a police barracks with all officers there dressed in the dreaded blue camouflage uniform!

Old Opa now pleads with our lawmakers to concentrate their efforts on police welfare and terms and conditions of service because these are the key areas that affect efficiency. For God and my country.