Nagging makes Cracks in the relationship

Women always worry about things that men forget; men always worry about the things that women remember.

While women still remember the first kiss, you know what I’m talking about. If you’re a woman, you should. It is true men have their faults, but nagging usually isn’t one of them. Many women, however, don’t know when to stop. Most women think that if they keep badgering their man about some issue; such as his appearance, income or friends – he’ will relent and see her point of view. In fact, just the opposite occurs. A man can steadily tune out a woman’s nagging until the two grow apart and eventually split.

It is possible for husbands to nag, and wives to resent them for nagging, but women are more likely to nag, largely because they are conditioned to feel more responsible for managing home and family. They want to be more knowledgeable about everything. They are the judges, the complainants and the executors and the advisers.  In fact God created Adam before Eve because he never wanted to be given advice while creating Adam.

What’s the result of incessant nagging? It is a vicious circle: The nagged tires of the badgering and starts to withhold, something which makes the nagger nag more. Nagging is the enemy of love if allowed to persist. Funny, a woman’s nagging doesn’t start immediately or else the guy would run away.

Nagging creeps into a relationship slowly, almost imperceptibly, as the two draw closer. It’s an odd phenomenon that I can’t explain: A woman likes a guy so she wants to change him.

Because many women find it difficult to directly communicate their needs, they fall into the fatal trap of whining and nagging about what they aren’t getting, rather than directly stating what they want, need, or expect from their partner.  Communication is at the root of all relationship problems. Here, men are just as guilty as women. We don’t say what we like and dislike well enough or often enough. And we don’t listen to our partner when she’s expressing her desires. Here is where men bear some responsibility.

We should say loudly and clearly, early on, that we don’t want to be nagged. We don’t have to be ugly about it. We don’t have to be confrontational. Women should also speak openly about their dissatisfaction.

If we want women to stop nagging, men should also stop enabling the nagging. Both parties have a role to play. Let’s stop the blame game.

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