Someone slapped me with a question this morning: would you forgive your spouse after being caught in an adulterous act? I found myself in a tricky situation until I also asked myself an almost similar question: Would I wish that my spouse forgives me after am caught in an adulterous act?
The fact that humans are not angels cultivates a good excuse for people to sin and later on repent. In day to day life we hurt people either intentionally or by accident. Either ways we have to come back to our feet, apologize, repent, reconcile and if possible start a fresh. But the biggest question is: How easy can this be?
There are many gifts of love but no gift of love has been more misunderstood than forgiveness. It may seem unfair to ask you to forgive the person who hurt you, lied to you and disappointed you so badly. I am fully aware of that. However, we should keep it in mind that forgiveness isn’t logical; it’s about love.
Just like love its self, it cannot be earned, bought, bargained or forced but can only be inspired. So what on earth can inspire you to do something as difficult as forgiving a cheater? It’s only true love that can inspire you to forgive. Therefore, the real miracle is not forgiving but loving someone enough to forgive them.
It is only true and unconditional love that accepts flaws and imperfections, seeks correction for mistakes, puts other’s wellbeing first, communicates to empower and sees partners as equal.
Depending on the type of love you have, forgiving your partner will be the easiest (or the hardest) thing you’ll ever have to do; because love without forgiveness is like a bird without wings. It has very limited range. Forgiveness is what gives ordinary love the wings that lift it up beyond limits, beyond ego, beyond pride and even beyond the understanding of most people.
Quite a number of people would wish to forgive but they are unable to do so because of the factors that stand between them and forgiveness.
These include social judgment, time, and pride, the need to be right and the urge to punish. All of us already know how to forgive; we simply have to ask that the obstacles to forgiving be removed from your mind, thereby restoring to your awareness the many moments of love, appreciation and gratitude you have felt in the past towards your partner. It’s those memories that can help to open your heart, allowing forgiveness to return more naturally.