Thursday , February 23 2017
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Was it Greenland bank or Crane bank that was closed?

Awkward Ideas

crane-bank

A fortnight ago my neighbor intercepted me very early in the morning when I was going for work. He wanted to know if it is true that Greenland Bank was going to be closed. I was amused by the fact that he mentioned Greenland bank instead of Crane bank.

But again I was not surprised because there are people in this country who have never entered a bank and don’t plan to enter one even in the near future. They are not even affected by the dynamics of the economy, and if they are then they are not aware that they are affected.

The fact is that Greenland bank died so many years ago and its grave has already developed cracks. It is shocking that there are people who still think that it exists. The same applies to Uganda Commercial Bank (UCB). I struggled to tell my neighbor that the bank in question is Crane Bank but this entire conversation fell on dead rock because he had never visited or even seen one. There are many Ugandans who have a natural fear for banks to the point that they have never come closer to any bank. Some hold funny beliefs that money in banks is not safe while others think that you have to be dressed smartly to enter a bank.

A customer closed his account in a bank in Washington with more than a million dollars in it after they refused to stamp his 50c parking bill because he was wearing shabby clothes. But banks may be right because people who enter while dressed shabbily are likely to be robbers.  With bank robbery you can take chances; in 1981 a nine year old boy in USA pulled a toy pistol at the bank teller and he managed to run away with $120 from the teller.

Did someone tell you the similarity between sex and a savings account? Not yet. Okay, I can help.  What is common between sex and a savings account is that you lose interest once you make a withdrawal. Does that make sense to you? I’m sure it does especially if you are above eighteen.

Let’s get back to Crane bank. Tens of thousands, if not millions, of Ugandans threw negative comment about Crane bank management. It is rumored that the bank has been fraudulently taking away customers’ collateral security whenever they failed to pay back the loans.  I’m not sure if this is mere propaganda or the real truth because the bank has never taken any of my property.

Others say that the bank has been charging high interest on loans. Still I’m not sure. What I know is that banks are like any other businesses and they must make profits.

In fact God told bankers to charge 6% on loans but the defiant bankers charged 9% because when God is viewing from above He sees a 9% as a 6%.

A young banker decided to get his first tailor-made suit. As he tried it on, he reached down to put his hands in the pockets but to his surprise found none. He mentioned this to the tailor who asked him, “You’re a banker, right?” The young man answered, “Yes, I am.”

“Well, whoever heard of a banker put his hand in his own pocket?”

Now, in  whose pockets to bankers put their hands?