Everyone and everywhere from today people will be writing what to do and how to impress their lovers because….well Valentine is around the corner, I personally would want everyone to be deeply in love, but unfortunately majority of humans will tell you that relationship problems are top of their ‘problem list’.
But one thing I have come to realize is that , most of the times we put ourselves in this situation, because we decide to stick to this ‘rut’, so… if your relationship has several of the things listed below ..Do yourself some favor and run…please call it quits this Valentine and you will thank me later after realizing in future that it was the most romantic thing you did for yourself!
Am not saying that you should just throw in the towel, nay! What am telling you is that perhaps you need to close one door for a better door to open. Especially if you find that;-
You aren’t sure where you stand with him/her
Uncertainty and suspense could be a good thing in a good movie or a good book, but when it comes to your life and relationship, it’s certainly a bad thing, if your so called lover keeps you guessing what you are to their lives, hides you from his/her family and friends and colleagues, then……………if this is not a red flag, then you have your priorities upside down!
He/she makes you feel bad about yourself
Self esteem is something that can be broken by someone only close to you, when you are in a relationship and your partner makes you feel inferior, then believe me, you deserve someone better, who thinks that you are an angel and makes you feel like a god sent gift to him/her, thus making you feel special. But if you are in a relationship where you find that you are not comfortable in your own skin, please ditch the loser before he/she drives you to suicide.
Everyone thinks he/she isn’t right for you.
There is a reason why democracy goes with the majority, this is because more often than not, the majority can spot a good trait in a person or thing, so if you find yourself in a relationship where everyone thinks that, your partner is not right for you, most probably they are right! It could be something as simple as drinking habit, violence or religion, but beware of a situation where you think everyone is wrong and you are the only one who has a ‘good vision’. Remember the old adage ‘Love is blind’ you could be blinded b your emotions ……….unless every body’s reasons are trivial like tribe or colour.
Abuse is a no-no
Many people make mistakes, but then these mistakes must have boundaries, and any kind of abuse is over the boundary, be it physical or psychological. Relationship experts all concur that abuses have a way of always escalating and never going down, so if your partner gets abusive, don’t make excuses that you are the one who provoked them, it’s always a demon hidden deep inside them, and if you don’t run when there is still time, then you may one day find yourself a news item in ‘Agataliiko nfuufu’.
Are you devoid of Tranquility Love and Harmony
In the Islamic holy book The Quoran, in Surat ar-Rum Chapter 30 Verse 21 GOD says (Among His signs is that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find tranquility in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy.) if the above three attributes are absent, I think even if you are an atheist, you would agree with me that, the relationship is not worthy.
You don’t spend time together
Time is one of the things that we all value and if your partner is always too busy to get time for you, then you are making him/her a priority while he/she takes you as an option. I am talking about quality time together the ‘US time’, then know something, he/she is robbing you of a resource that will never come back forever (there will never be another today), time that passes can’t be regained.
Apparently, there is nothing like a perfect person or partner and relationships in themselves are quite tricky, but the moment the negatives keep compiling, then as the Baganda say’ akutemyako oyagala wa mbazzi Literally meaning that if you get the tale tell signs the above are red flags and if you have several of them in your relationships then………its time to give yourself a perfect Valentine gift and quit MAYBE someone better is just around the corner waiting with open arms!