Recently, I advised you readers in bad relationships to pack up your bags and leave; today, I come back for the benefit of those individuals who wish to stick around and fight for their relationship.
Perhaps what I must tell you is that a good relationship looks close to ‘rocket science’ in its complexity, but the fact is that maintaining a good relationship is one of the simplest things to do!
Most of us have such complicated relationships so much so that we are made to believe that a wedding is the apex (of all relationships) and that after this hurdle every thing is going to be ok but what happens if the relationship continue to take a downward trend.
To the many of us we are at times clueless on what should be done but as I mentioned earlier, a good relationship is a very possible and before you throw in the towel please try the following;-
Constantly change for the better
For anything to remain top of the game, one must be ready to constantly keep up the game to do this change is a must however change must start with you because your efforts will definitely bring in a breeze of freshness that will have an effect on your partner. Start by bringing flowers home, or write love notes and place them around the home, in general do things that you were not doing before.
Be more positive when you are together
Be more positive than negative, then magic will pave in! A good example is a striker in a football game, they are not always scoring goals every now and then in fact they do much more than scoring, but because they do it often, they are known to be scorers, likewise be constantly positive and you will be known as a positive person in the relationship
Make sure that your positive comments exceed the critical ones by a healthy margin.
If this was a medicine, it would be taken X3 daily, and the best trick here is to be a good listener and not a talker. Drop the defensive method and listen only to understand, without interrupting, correcting facts, or counter-punching. Save your defense for another conversation especially if you suspect that you might be in the wrong, and always don’t ever forget to always punch in the golden words of life, (I love you, am sorry, please and being appreciative and always praising your partner especially when it comes to any form of effort they have put in themselves, or you or the relationship.
Try as much to avoid arguments
When you suspect an argument is going to ensue, slow down your speech, turn down the volume, and lower the intensity.
Do small favors for each other
Never relax by assuming that you have done your part remember love is all about going out of your way, help out even in those small things that we always assign to a particular gender like cleaning the dishes, come help and move things around, escort each other to shopping and when one has to do a task try making it easy for them (this is always a crime committed by men, they feel its un manly to do house chores, which is a misconception.
Draw the line
If you decide that violence will not be part and parcel of your relationship, don’t even think about it, draw boundaries, for example time of arrival especially if you are staying together, not arguing in front of other people, being secretive when it comes to inside challenges etc.
There is an attitude that is a known relationship killer; its called ‘anything goes’….this will kill your relationship for sure!
It’s comfortable and cozy when two people know absolutely everything about each other but we’re more likely to be drawn to a partner who has a mysterious side and not predictable in what next thing she/he will do, so try learning things in life that will help you look unique and unpredictable.
Initiate, sex even if you don’t feel like it
It is said that sex is not everything in a relationship as long as it is going right, but the moment it goes wrong, it breaks everything, so be aware of this fact, sometimes even if you don’t feel like having sex and you see that its long since you had fun between the sheets, initiate it, sex is the spiritual and physical bonding that if broken then things are as good as over!
Your partner’s family and friends
Lastly but not least……Relationships are not for the two of you only! Bond with the extended family of your partner, they have a way they influence things at times when things are not good, the best trick here is to get a best friend from your in-laws and you will enjoy you