Before we get married we live in a world of fantasies especially about sex. Marriage is meant to end all these fantasies and start the practical and real world. It is unfortunate that to some people even after marriage they remain in hallucinations.
Sometimes it is not my choice; they may be battling with a long time addiction that has refused to go. One of such addictions is pornography. There is no doubt that pornography is detrimental to happy marriages. Couples that choose to watch pornography do a great deal of damage to their relationships.
In the first place porn breaks trust. Marriages are built on trust. Ask a woman how she feels when her husband looks at porn. If she is honest she hates it. She will say it feels like he is bringing other women into the relationship.
This seems to be some version of infidelity. Secondly pornography creates comparisons. You can’t look at images without comparing those images to your spouse. This can lead to ungratefulness, where you focus on what your spouse “isn’t” instead of being thankful for what he or she is.
Lots of people who are addicted to pornography agree that it kills self-esteem. Just ask your spouse how confident they feel being naked in front of you after you have looked at pornography and you will understand this one.
Those unrealistic expectations we get from porn movies are created by a movie director and paid actors who do whatever they do simply to make money but deep down in their hearts they also hate it.
Many of the female actors were coerced into the film industry at a very young age outside of their will. A high number of female actors take drugs to cope with both the physical pain of filming and the emotional pain. These are not the kind of people whose sex lives we should emulate.
We cannot forget that porn is addictive. Anyone who tells you it isn’t is wrong. Studies show that porn lights up the pleasure center of the brain more than cocaine. It’s powerful and it’s very addictive. Moreover an addiction that never satisfies.
Research has established the difference between sexual addiction and drug addiction; while the drug addict craves “more”, the sexual addict craves “different.” In other words, a heroin addict wants more heroin but a sex addict doesn’t just want more sex, he wants “different” sex.
You also need to know that the power behind porn is lust. And lust doesn’t crave “prettier” – it craves “different.” It’s why Tiger Woods can be married to a super model and still cheats with numerous other women.
It’s not that his wife wasn’t “attractive enough,” it’s just that lust always craves “different.” The deception is that “different” will satisfy you, but of course, once you have what you craved you want something different. It never ends.
For someone out there in stable relationship and you want to maintain the status quo keep away from pornography.