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How to keep your marriage safe

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How to keep your marriage safe

A happy emulatable couple

A happy emulatable couple

I  recently met some lady and for her sake I’d wish all men to read this, and somehow do something, or else soon all family heirs will be children who belong to our neighbours, or better still children sired by the shamba boy!

Warnings aside, lets talk about this particular lady, she is married and has a couple of children, but of recent, she feels that she has had enough, and wants to throw in the towel, reason…the husband comes home past one in the night everyday, and worse still, he is not a drunkard (so drinking with the boys is out). This though is inconclusive proof that he is seeing another woman, but he has made his  wife feel like a worthless being and she believes that enough is enough!

Somehow, I want this column to act as a marriage saviour for men who want to save their marriages but for those who want to break their marriages, its a greenlight to them to go ahead  and do contrary to what this article suggests!

Why make her cry

If you indeed know it for a fact that your coming home late will drive your wife away from the marital home why do it day in day out? Unless you are trying to tell her that I do not care whether you leave or stay she will most certainly go; So the plain thing will be for you to make sure that you make it to your house at a reasonable hour because the surest thing to drive your woman from your house is coming home late.

Women have told me that whenever their men have not returned home yet they become sleepless and this makes their days horrible because they find it hard to concertrate on any thing. So my brother if you want your marriage to stay steer clear of this despicable habit.

Misconceptions men have

Its true that almost all religious books give men the title of head of the family, but still this does not mean that the women MUST be the tail! A woman has a very important role to play in a home and does not have to keep up with all the bulls**t that you may throw at her, phrases like “a woman’s place is in the kitchen and other such phrases are meant to demobilise our sisters and it puzzles me why no woman has ever come out to fight against such phrases!

On Making love

Another oversight that men have is that when it comes to playing sex, while men do exactly that! (Play sex) women have an emotional attachment linked to making love, its no wonder that “men use the word love to get sex, as women use the act of sex to get love”. For this matter men should stop the chest thumping, and reduce on the thrusting and concentrate more on cuddling, caressing, foreplay, kissing and after play, in short, try to connect with your woman while making love.

What to do right

There is only one thing that all women yearn for, from their men, and despite the fact that sometimes other needs creep in, the bottom line is” make her feel important!”.

If all men could master only this, then, no woman would ever be a headache to them, men would be surprised how very little things can mean the world to the woman, if you don’t believe me, then this week try some of these things, buy her a rose out of the blue, don’t wait for valentine or a birthday, call her from work just to tell her that you love her, acknowledge her in private and in public, and when you make love to her, tell her that she is very…….sweet! And above all these trivial (if you dare call them that) involve her in decision-making!

And when things go wrong as they will sometimes, swallow your macho-ism and say the golden word “sorry”.

Another important virtue is you should always show your appreciation in deeds and in words at any efforts she puts in doing anything, (especially if she is doing it for you) so make the word “thank you” a light word on your tongue, This way you will have a woman to keep for the rest of your life!

Understanding womanhood

Nature has laid it bare for all those with eyes to see that there is a world of difference when it comes to male and female beings.

From the fact that women are body wise weaker and softer when it comes to dealing with tougher decisions,  yet kinder when it comes to dealing with the offsprings, apart from the above attributes, scientists have discovered that women have different mood swings according to what is happening in their bodies, things like, they are more temperamental when they are pregnant, and more friendly when they are ovulating, more protecting when they give birth………..all these changes if not totally understood can really bring a rift in the whole marriage game!

Knowing how to deal with the same woman at different seasons and circumstances could be the key in unveiling the secret of  avoiding conflicts in marriages, for example knowing when to keep silent, and when to be firm, could make the difference of either breaking or saving your marriage!

Women and crying

Apart from the tears of joy, women are more prone to crying than men are. This may be due to two facts, the first is that boys are taught that men don’t cry, and the second is that women are more connected to their emotions than men are!

So anything that seems to destabilize a woman emotionally, would induce tears quicker than their brothers, its also a way of shouting for help and sympathy from others, and when they don’t get it from you (the husband) they become vulnerable to even the shamba boy, who happens to be always there for her!

Lastly, it must be noted to all brothers out there that, despite the universal belief that women are the weaker sex, this is far from the truth, the truth is that when it comes to will power and, determination they come top of men, and don’t be fooled with the illusion that you are bossing your house, the fact is that you are housing the boss!

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