I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about a year now, but recently I discovered that some months ago he cheated on me, now he is saying he is sorry and wants me to even introduce him to my family.

Am I safe with this guy and would I be able to trust him if we finally settle down in a long term relationship?

Nabira
Kampala

Dear Nabira;

There are many positive things that you have mentioned here ,the first is that he has come clean and become honest with you, the second is that at least he is showing regret an he seems that he still wants you.

But there is always other underlying problem/s that leads to cheating, that you must address.

His saying "I'm sorry" isn't enough. Just because he's not cheating on you anymore doesn't mean the problem has disappeared-it hasn't. It's still there, but it's in remission. Don't dupe yourself into believing the coast is clear now that he's apparently being faithful again.

Stand your ground, and insist on going through the problem/. If this guy really loves you and truly doesn't want to lose you, he'll thank his lucky stars that you're willing to give him another chance, and will work his butt off to get to the bottom of the situation.

A once cheated affair doesn't have to spell an end of a relationship. Study shows that in most cases like this, some relationships come off them stronger only if both partners are willing to work hard; an affair can bring problems that were lurking in the depths of the relationship up to the surface for the purpose of healing.

Since your relationship is relatively new, it's likely that you are both still settling into your commitment to one another, or at least he is! And it sounds like he may be having some difficulty letting go completely of his former lover.

So if he is sincere, and you feel he's worth it, and you can let go of what happened (not easy!), it's possible that you could both use this crisis to stop, evaluate the relationship, and go forward differently. blog comments powered by Disqus

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