Did I hear you say this? Possibly yes, but most likely not. On a quick take, now I recall that it must have been the uneducated sages before your time who came up with the saying.

Considering the fact that they never saw a blackboard - but attained their education the literal way, you may wonder how far these people could have reached if they only  had access to the magezi of a scientific and computerized age.

And now, my recollection goes back to my good grandfather who used to give us his kind of education in a way and manner he knew best how to do. On finding you in the  wrong,  he would hammer  it out to you that you had to be responsible and own up to your deeds whatever this may entail. In effect, he was telling us to always behave responsibly except that he himself was a rogue of a kind which used to amuse me although at times it would be to my very young distaste.

The old man used to tell us: "Guluma yaguzza.." a saying he loved to no limits to complete by saying, "Enziku teruma kkundi." If  I were to translate this in the dialect I am  writing in I could say that my jajja meant that a penis should not complain of being smeared with a muzigo (ghee) of a kind because after all, it was it which must have hankered to be hidden in those unfathomable deeps where that muzigo is under a lifelong manufacturing.

Me, I couldn't agree less with the mzee seeing that he was my  major source of sayings of the wise.

I have found my mzee's magezi relevant to our times, and especially with reference to this, my present undertaking. Slightly over one month after conclusion of the much hyped world cup, we have started seeing the things that had mostly lain in hiding and out of our sight therefore.

From the teen-age girls right through to the ba maama b'abaana (the offlayers having got off the hook) quite a good number of these have started vomiting and making such noise akin to that made between July and August in Madibaland using the vuvuzela.

And why so? Well, it's that although the messages were widely spread in all the media outlets and on big bill boards all along the streets of this country and even at home, a majority of people preferred to ignore them. "Get off the sex network" one of them ran. Another advised, "Don't be a fool dipping your wick into unknown jungles but if you must be a fool, then use a condom."

When we first encountered these and other adverts, we would laugh at the manner and style a few people had decided to pass on a vital warning for the education of the many.

But wapi! Blame it on the fact that many a time, the grandsons and granddaughters of Adam and Eve respectively, love to invite and engage the evil more than they invite and engage the good.

It was very recently when a woman declared in our very hearing that "Ebyobusiru biwooma!" When challenged on the wisdom of what she was saying, she added with unequalled gusto, "Kati ekitalya mmere nze nkiweeki?" (Is someone over there scandalized?) 

Grace and two of her colleagues were among the people who air trekked all the way to South Africa to watch the world cup. When there however, they watched less soccer than what was happening to their pubical zones. In exchange for the much adored Obama dollar, floods of men were at it whacking their buninkini to near lameness.

I hear mbu even here at home, the near madness of the season had fired up the groins of many a people and in excitement, many a female allowed undressed willy willies to surf their unholy areas of pleasure.

A result of this is what we are witnessing this time around. Many females are suffering from nausea and actually are vomiting, let alone having this morning sickness thing. Many have started okwenyinyala (loathe) almost everybody, all clear signs that they are under the spell of penis power or what my grandpa warned us about that "guluma yaguzza."

Rachel, one of the girls from Obama's state of Tenesse, has just caught up with Maneno telling him that his "very interesting master blaster" of a penis was responsible for her present "sick" condition and the growing bulge of her waist.

Vowing she will not even think about an abortion, she has invited Maneno to travel to the U S of A and revisit on her kathing "that nerve wracking kacapizo." She says that the men in her land are a mere joke as compared to the wisdom in Maneno's volleypenis (ever heard of that? Or maybe you only knew about volley ball?)

Cynthia, of  half caste extraction and also now under a curse only penises know how to curse female's poor buthings, yesterday revealed to us that she had not known that her kathing can smile or even break into laughter. She only found this out during the world cup frenzy.

She says that when she recalls the marathon of sexincidents she subjected  her little pussy to, she does a double smile; one with her upper mouth and the other with her lower mouth- that which doesn't eat emmere. Very enterprising people, some females can be!

By the way, if within your environs, you find certain females suffering from penis sickness (not sea sickness) of barely a month and a half, be the macho man you should be and offer them a shoulder to lean on.

Take no note that they might even soil your clothes. Just pamper them with the understanding that they are just about to populate the world with World Cup babies.

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