Greetings to all of you Ugandans with names from A to Z. The greetings are for those of you who stayed at home watching the unfolding of results from the World Cup on television sets and wide screens.

For your information, Maneno and I managed to secure passage to this land of Madiba, South Africa it is, to watch live the spectacular international soccer event which will not return on the world scene before the next four years elapse.

Bwana, oh bwana! If it weren't for financial limitations and for some of you who have responded late to the Electoral Commission's updating of the voters' register, South Africa, this land of high-priced minerals and awe-inspiring skyscrapers, not to mention the lovely beaches and sun bathing, is the place to be.

This is because for over a month,  international attention is now, more than ever before, focused on this country drawing hordes of soccer lovers and others pretending to be soccer fans but with other motives, from all over the world. A cosmopolitan country, it has indeed become.

From the blowing of  bugles, wild cheering, dancing, laughing, eating and drinking to wee hours in the city environs where are being staged soccer matches, words might fail me to tell you what else is taking place here. Okay, the massive deployment of security personnel both in and out of uniforms is a clear warning to all and sundry that 'fanya fujjo owone.'

Even before the convergence of the world's people here, this country is infamously known to harbour males with wild groins because mbu at least every 15 minutes, a woman is raped in this country.

Unless you don't know your maths, that must be a hell of both solicited and unsolicited sex being practiced here. Going by this, if you Ugandan males prided yourselves on exercising your pelvic rights on women, you must be a poor imitation of the South Africans.

And now with the convergence of all kinds of the world's men here, you may be forgiven for thinking that the country must be stinking of sex; what with the winter season in which the soccer events are being played?

Nedda ssebo, we didn't come to South Africa to watch soccer except for a few games we will see. Wapi! Maneno and I came to find material for what's happening in Maneno's world as played out by a gathering of all chaps and characters coming from different parts of the world.

And by jove, haven't we scored big already? Forget the English bugirls who declared they would bare their bodies in SA to give morale to their home team. Forget also the other bugirls who see in this event a chance to have their pussies surfed on international standards but at a fee.

Here, we have found, have come ba maama b'abaana, wealthy offlayers also rich with sagging flaps of body parts, big bwanas flashing mega bucks out to surf the tight cunts of money-hunting young sisters with breasts which have yet to succumb to the laws of gravity.

Forget the excitement about soccer. In reality, sexecitement reigns supreme here to the extent that even those who proclaim things like 'nze ebyo sibikola' have found a haven here because they are free to do their life-long fantasies with girls of the world who are in so excited a mood they can even give you a show of their pudenda at no cost.

We have been to the beaches and, using an excuse to bare their bodies in the name of sunbathing, we have googled girls with bodies barely covered while others are going bare top giving an excuse mbu it's hot down here; and by down here they don't mean the country. Nedda bambi. They are referring to that kavalley between their legs which administers sexual healing.

Okay, right from home there in UG, we know how eating bucks attract girls and women like a light attracts butterflies but ssebo, what is happening here has uplifted this truism to very high levels.

Shame is out of question for the world's girls who have forked out their savings to be here. It's like the girls are saying that because this event will not return to the world before another four years, to hell with what the moralists can say.

Walking a not too seedy street of Jo'burg, we were accosted by a young boy who stood in our way and pleaded: "..Master, master, wanna have  jig, jig? My mother, fine woman, ready in there, no knickers…20 dollars." (Forgive us for having a moral background behind us but surely, a child soliciting commercial sex for his mother! We were sincerely scandalized).

Do you know who are the world's sexiest women; I mean those who engage in sex and mean business not like those girls I know of back home who can part their legs for you and go to sleep telling you; "Bwomala nga ombulira.."

Well, we might find that out here in South Africa. Maneno, always the busy bee, has told me of two French-speaking girls who, at a fee, gave him a wriggling of the groins he is yet to forget.

At a hotel we are staying, Swazi beauties are on call freely baring their bared and pointed breasts at you plus sampling you with a sight of their smiling and taunting pussies. Many a man have been tempted into the girls' game, I also have and I doubt if you, a male, could resist the lure.

Okay, at the weekend, I was tempted into a lay at the beach by a rich oldie who paid me good bucks and thanked me with tears in her eyes for showing her how good  'love made in Uganda' is.

In the same evening, I used some of that money to tumble a Swazi belle who, as I found out, had a twat so hot you would think I had sank my willy in a kaseppiki filled with hot cooking bijanjaalo.

I can regale you with a lot more happenings here but wait on, the drama has just started.

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