Experts say that opposites attract and they have even examples to prove this; - they bring magnetic blocks and put the like poles together, you have to be a magician to make them attract each other, on the other hand, when this experiment is done with unlike poles, you too must be a "Harry Potter" to make them repel. Because of this, they came up to the conclusion that "opposite poles attract each other while like poles repel"!

However, I have always had my reservations when it comes to this rule" especially concerning relationship, (I believe that only metals and other non- living things follow this rule), I strongly believe that for a relationship to get to its desired goal, the people involved must have a very high percentage of similarities than differences. So what do you do when you find out that you are knee deep in a relationship with someone who is your total opposite?

I would like to categorize the differences into two kinds; the "major" and "minor" differences, lets take a quick look at some of them and their solutions.

MAJOR;-
Sex -A colleague of mine, Daniels has a problem when it comes to sex in his relationship, he confesses great love for his stay-in girlfriend, but has issues with her sex-drive, apparently she wants to make love only once every month, this has caused a great rift in their relationship and it looks like it might lead him to stray and look for sexual gratification elsewhere.

Definitely this has its repercussions, the cheating that comes with extra expenses to the possibility of acquiring diseases.

Solution - Using Daneils’ example, the best thing one can do before jumping to any conclusion is try and find out the root cause of this, it could be that your partner has sexual trauma that she/he hasn't told you about.

Then, there is the possibility that you could actually be the reason why your partner doesn't want/enjoy sex. It's after emptying all possible scenarios and still seeing that the problem still persists that one can come to the one and only sensible solution, and that is separation!

This is because sex is a basic human need, and when it lacks in a relationship the partner will have to hunt for it somewhere else, and this will cause more hurt, pain, tears and sometimes even fatal results!

Goals- Experts tell us that 75%of all relationships have a partner whose aim is not to stick to the relationship, people who are always on the look out, whenever a chance appears they take off with someone or something which they perceive to be better.

The worst thing about such partners is that they waste their partner's time. Others have Other primary objectives in life, making your relationship become secondary to their other ambitions and life.

Solution - Trying to focus all your energy together is the aim of making something out of your union, when you find that you and your partner are pulling at different ends of life's rope, pulling in the opposite direction., then its time to get alarmed.

Try and adjust one of these two things, either abandon the project for sanity to prevail in the relationship, or abandon the relationship for your goal to prevail.

Religion - There are people I know who aren't religious at all, but somehow the religion flu catches up with them sometime in their future, the flu could come from the family members or sometimes some divine power, which somehow tells them that their partner is not  "the chosen one"  personally am yet to find a harmonious union that is inter-religion! Such couples tend to have soft beginnings, then somehow when the Lord wakes them up, and demands them to change; their partners are always the first victims of change!

Solutions - These are one of the problems that a solution must be  found before a problem erupts, I mean make sure that you follow the adage "birds of………" if you cant unpluck the feathers of  the bird you desire and change them to your style, abandon him/her before its too late!

MINORS-
We all have our weaknesses, some people would have loved to get a more learned, or less talkative, or more aggressive partner, etc. I have called them minor because they are most of the times things that can be changed or put under control.

Things like a less schooled partner can be fixed by helping/encouraging him/her achieve or go to another level. I had a friend of mine who used to believe that, for one to be a great partner, one has to look at his better-half and see the effects that he/she has caused in your life. If there are none, then know that you aren't as good as you may think!

Solutions- We all have different individuality, it's the ability to  manage and merge them into one unit(a couple) that makes a union, successful, and an envy to the rest of us, that's why its important to try and make amendment/adjustments in our relationships.

It is a sign of great love if one would agree to lose some ground or uplift a partner so that they could be at par together.

By Kim Kajumba