I am yet to find out the true meaning behind phrases like "tempers flare", "hot temper" and the like. But I believe this is because when one is angry, there is nothing cool about them!

I also believe that it's the same reason why people are told to cool down when they are angry. Another thing that I found rather peculiar is the definition of anger; it's defined as  "extreme passionate displeasure."

There is an argument that anger is an involuntary action, in that sometimes, the angry person fails to control him or herself. The bad thing is that an angry person has one goal in mind -- to inflict pain to whoever angered them.

But sometimes a person can export anger and hurt people who had nothing whatsoever with their getting angry in the first place.

Great pugilist, Mike Tyson, was once quoted as saying "I have gone through a lot of pain in my life; this is why whenever anyone steps in the ring with me, I want to make him share the pain I have inside me. That's why I hurt them".

Crime of passion
The phrase "crime of passion" would not exist but for anger from which it generates. Psychologists tell us that the initial stages of anger block that part of the brain which enables us to think rationally.

That's why 99% of people become remorseful after doing irrational things under fits of anger.

In some cases, this can be categorized as temporary insanity and many people have escaped legal punishment on pleading with a judge that they committed an offence while under 'temporary insanity.'

Dealing with an angry partner

Know your partner's personality
One thing that makes people get caught in grim and violent situations is failure to know well their partners or not being able to know what he/she is capable of doing.

It's important to try and find out all you can about the past life of your partner; watch how s/he deals with frustrations and situations that bring out his/her wrath.

It's only after knowing such things that you can consider yourself safe with him/her. Also try and find out what really pisses off your partner and avoid it.

Keep your distance
When we were young we learnt one tactical survival gist. Whenever we did something wrong at home, we would keep away from the presence of our parents till very late or the next day when their anger will have subsided.

It hurts nothing if  you also emulate this tactic; stay away from an angry partner at least for sometime and, if it happens that you must be together, then ensure to have someone else around: just don't be alone with someone annoyed with you.

Seek outside help
On understanding that your partner has a violent nature, try and talk with him/her and seek outside help. People like counselors or religious leaders can be of great help.

Recently, I found out that the Bible is a basket of guidance on anger. This is mainly compressed in the book of Proverbs. Maybe you should also go religious. There are also other books by great authors which are a good help with regard to anger control and management.

Leave while you still can
Some people might regret that they didn't read an article like this before and now it's too late.

One thing about violent people is that most of the time, the violence keeps growing;  it might start with a slap, next it will be a punch, then a real beating requiring hospitalization or even murder.

Note that as time goes on, the violence gets heavier while the reasons leading to the violence get more flimsy. It's important therefore that if you find yourself in such a relationship, you take note of this and find a way out while you still can.

Know that a majority of crimes of passion start like this. If you realise this is the case in your relationship, put on your running shoes and disappear before your partner forces you to disappear from the face of the earth before your time.

How to control anger
Different cultures have different ways when it comes to dealing with anger. Here are some interesting ones (the good thing is that you can try one by one or even combine all the tricks).

Among the Arabs, by culture and religion, when one gets angry, such a person is strongly advised to take a shower. The Prothet of Islam advises the Muslims to take an ablution.

To the Swahilis, in a fit of anger, you are advised to lie down for some time and if you find this difficult, better still, take a nap or sit down. The Baganda have advice for women (I don't know about advice to the men). Culturally, among the Baganda, a woman is not supposed or expected to answer back to her husband in a fit of anger.

She is therefore advised to fill her mouth with water and keep it there, hence render herself unable to talk. The whites in general will try to get rid of the excess energy (brought about by anger) by going for sporting activities like punching a bag, riding a bicycle or running. 

I personally prefer getting away from the presence of a person you are angry with as a good solution to fighting getting reckless in a fit of anger.

Also and most interestingly, sex can sometimes be a remedy to anger especially for some women - when your woman gets angry (but not violent) you can cox her into a sex session and by the time you get through she will be as good as new. However, whatever the trouble is avoid forcing a violent partner into sex because you may end getting  bobbited instead - dont say I didnt warn you. good Luck