It would be very difficult to try and separate these two things, money and love! Recently when an organization went to court to try and abolish the relationship between marriage and some exchange of money, the case was thrown out, ironically by a female judge!

Musicians world over have sang about the bitter/sweet relationship love has with money, from the international hit song of "No romance without finance" to our own metaphoric "Attarina sente tafumita lindazi" there are some religions like Islam which without some  monetary value put before a sheikh the marriage is null and void.

All in all this is a debate that perhaps will last for eternity. The fact is that Money being a part of life will always strain people and the effects always reflect back to the couple. There are numerous kinds of problems that are caused by money, here are some and their solutions:-

Too much cash
A friend of mine recently told me that, "when we were poor we were okay and now he has got money things are very bad" this she said while she was very bitter, the problem that I found later is that, in the pursuit of money the husband knowingly or unknowingly ignored his wife, long trips coupled with late coming, and sometimes the endless interruptions of their private life, had made a toll on their relationship.

Occasionally he could come back with expensive gifts, which unfortunately the woman didn't need. All she was craving for was his attention and personal care.

The end results have always been disastrous, in that the partner will always find cohabiters even if it means going below their standards, and get hooked by the shamba boys/house maids or even the drivers.

Solutions
One thing I know about money is that, the more you get it, the more you want more, when couples realize this, then the changing fortunes will be real fortunes and not misfortune, and they can get to this by doing the following;-setting right their priorities (family and relationship first then money later), involve your partner in the money making ventures so that she/he could at least understand what you go through or she/he could be equally busy and thus no room for feeling left out.

If its trips abroad or long ones you could plan them together and always talk about what is going on in your lives.

Too little
Here is where the majority of us are, meaning that there is too much to be done by too little resources.

In most cases people who find themselves in this situation have one thing in common, at the beginning of their relationship they entered with too much expectations and the men have a cardinal crime they all make, they try to portray themselves as people with very deep pockets while in actual fact they could be nearing pauperness.

Solution
Truth, openness, hardwork and lastly patience, all these are remedies to use whenever you fall in this abhorred situation, where bills and problems become the order of the day.

Truth, this should be applied at the very beginning of the relationship by avoiding to portray yourself as something that you are not.

Openness on the other hand, could be a vice that should be practiced constantly, one way of doing this is by, say, informing your spouse all about your plans and the fluctuation of your income.

Hard work, will save you from poverty, this is an economical fact. The best of them is being patient, I say the best of them because most of the times fortunes changes, and its common knowledge that "patience pays"

Who has it?
Its always taken for granted that in a relationship, the man should always be the one with the money, where this came from I don't know, what I know is that most of the times when the woman is the loaded one, there is always too much friction, in that, sometimes the man feels inferior, and the inferiority complex is a dangerous ingredient in a relationship.

This is because, unlike where the woman has no money, the man can take abuses and even beatings, but when the woman is the richer one, anything she does will always be related to the fact that she has money.

Solutions
The Indians have a system called caste, this is where persons of the same class and means marry each other. Putting the "birds of the same…….."In practice!
There is even a lady in the (Matendo"lord Sebbattas band) who believes that a woman with money is a woman cursed when it comes to marriage/relationship. If this is true I reserve my opinion, but one thing that I know is that when love reigns, nothing as superficial as money can cause a rift.

People have always put too much undue value on money, but the truth is that money is not that important and as I have already said love conquers all. blog comments powered by Disqus

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