Today I would want to be a little selfish, not that I will write about myself, nay, but I write this piece for my friend who I know has already started on this road, (separation) hopefully it will lead her to much happiness.

I will first start the gibberish of it all, the Indians believe that people get attracted by their karma (destiny) rather than pure love, but the karma can change between partners hence the desire to be together evaporates, the magnetism between the two souls thus changes even if there could still be love, destiny calls them apart so that , they can experience different lessons, different experiences to further grow.

Either they agree on a common goal and may be able to stay the full cycle of an incarnation together in a loving attitude toward each other, or they have different goals, automatically leading to the separation in life, going different spiritual, emotional and physical and socially ways.

One thing that I have learnt about separation is that it is better that the moment it looks inevitable, then it should be let to happen, if one clings to an already dead relationship, all love is forgotten, all the sweet memories are forgotten all that really remains is the misery and more misery of the last days, before things got worse, some worse than others, others even fatal.

Here are some of the tips and rules not for her (because I will talk to her) but to people who are treading this very difficult road. Simple steps to follow;-

Most of the times we all think that a separation is the beginning of an end, while in actual fact it could be a new dawn to the couple, thus knowing that it is over is the first and most important aspect, make sure that both of you know that its is over, let the decision be firm and if your partner thinks otherwise don't let him/her make you stay in a relationship that you see as doomed.

Forget and forgive
Forget and forgive before you say your farewell, all past mistakes should be forgiven this is because the end of a relationship isn't the appropriate time to bring up feelings of resentment.

Face-to face
The how, when, are very important when breaking a relationship you must know your partner and find out which kind can react to what mode of separation and how to break the news.

Its preferable that you deliver the decision personally without involving other people unless you think your partner might over-react.

Friendship
Open up another door, of friendship immediately you close that one of intimacy, this is a way of telling your partner that you value them in your life and appreciate all the good qualities they have.

Here one should be careful not to give mixed messages which can be confusing especially to someone who used to be close to you. Never allow private moments alone

Clean your Trace
Remove or return things that belong to your now ex-, and in return demand back your items that you considered private, this may include clothing and other personal items, this is a sure way of making things that the transition will go smoothly without past reminders getting to your memories.

Give them time
You were in the relationship the two of you, this is very important to put in consideration, this is because most partners will need a closure period, before they come to agree that it is over, answer questions that they may have and don't shy away/ignore them immediately after the break-up, be firm and never let loose ends in the relationship about anything.

Anger watch it
Be ware of anger, it's very important that the anger element should be checked; first, never break-up during an argument and even after the argument you should constantly try to find out from your friends if your ex-is bitter about all the happenings, this is for the one reason that most fatal crimes of passion are committed by derailed dumped partners.
                                                      
Moving on
One of the biggest and complicated subject is timing, when should you move into another relationship, the truth is that most times people don't need time to adjust on something that they have made up their mind on, if as you are ending the relationship there is another chance to love, do it as long as you feel that you are emotionally stable.

Its important for partners to know that in life there is nothing that is permanent not even life itself, so when time comes to move on, its important that they realise that destiny has more important and such powerful roles in our lives that sometimes we are unable to control and always know that there is always light at the end of the tunnel, what is that they say about a silver lining on every dark cloud? blog comments powered by Disqus

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