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How to manage haters/critics

Analysis

How to manage haters/critics

KCCA Director Jennifer Musisi (L)and Kampala Lord Mayor Erias Lukwago (R)

KCCA Director  Musisi (L)and Kampala Lord Mayor Erias Lukwago have had the most known clash in recent times 

First, I would like to make it clear that haters and Critics are two different people.
Hate is personal, while Criticism (when conducted constructively) is not. Most haters like to think they are offering constructive criticism (at least that’s the story they tell themselves) but when in reality they are just haters.

Haters attack the person not the argument, are biased and strongly opinionated, only point out negatives completely disregarding the positives, tear down opinions, suggestions, and ideas, etc
While Constructive criticism attacks/points out the action or what was said/done NOT the person, is heavily supported by facts, gives the person a chance to correct mistakes and gives room for improvement, builds someone up even if it may sound a little cruel, requires observation before criticism is given, helps build an idea, tries to educate, etc.

From the above, we see that critics (not haters) are sometimes necessary for our growth, they help us to get out of our comfort zones. And from personal experience, critics have in some ways helped so much to push forward and cling on until when u achieve your goals. It’s human to want to prove our critics wrong, in that process growth happens.

Two, Critics are sometimes placed in our path to establish us and take us to another level. The Bible is full of many such examples. As you all know, it’s almost impossible to avoid hate, there is nothing that pisses off/annoys people so so much like seeing someone they know succeeding in whatever he/she is doing. So anyone pursuing their dreams or climbing the ladder of success in whatever form (spiritual, social, economical, etc) should be aware of this reality.

Even our Lord Jesus Christ was hated, rejected, misunderstood for no good reason, but just because the status quo felt challenged by his divine power they resorted to hating him in a vain attempt to stop his divine work. How did Jesus respond to haters – The answer is found in Mathew 5:43-48.

Be aware that people close to us are likely to hate us the most. These include close friends and family members. Reason for that is due to the fact that we are influenced most by the people we are closest to. When our friend sees us succeeding where they failed, the hate will be even stronger, because our actions have a greater effect on them than those of a complete stranger.

Statistics show that over half of Ugandans are struggling financially. This means that well over half the people in Uganda are financially insecure. When you are insecure about something and you see someone else succeeding where you failed, it feels like a spotlight is shining down on you. You feel as if you are walking around with a giant sign broadcasting your insecurities to the world.

Many haters will actually disguise themselves as righteous individuals as if they are doing the right thing for us to change when in fact they are really just trying to hate.

There are things that motivate people to hate. Today, let us look at a few ways to deal with haters.
Of course there are various ways we can respond to hate targeted towards us, but I would like to share 4 ways that can work for you.

Ignore them
It’s a lot easier said than done, but it’s one of the effective ways to deal with haters. You can’t always pay attention to the foolishness people say about you. If you think too much about it, you might find yourself believing the negative things haters say about you.

When haters hate, and what they say is neither constructive criticism nor positive feedback, it has no value to your life. What’s the point in getting all bent out of shape by something someone said that you can’t even do anything about? Haters say things that will do nothing but ruin your day, so with that heads up, be prepared to ignore!

Take it with a grain of salt
Sometimes you might have trouble distinguishing between constructive criticism and pure hatred .Because there might be a glimmer of truth in their statement. If this is the case, listen to what they have to say, but don’t take it to heart. If you think you can improve based off of their feedback, great! Just don’t take the negative emotions connected to their statement to heart. Consider the words, and if they’re unworthy, ignore it.

Don’t retaliate
When a hater hates, they’re looking for a response, otherwise they wouldn’t have made their feelings known. If you retaliate, you’re giving them what they want, and they don’t deserve your time and energy. Don’t try to think of a witty comeback to embarrass them. Believe me when I say, in the end, haters always manage to embarrass themselves without any help. Responding with nasty words will only bring you down to their level, and that is not nice!

Don’t try to please everyone
Whatever you do, someone will hate it. Choose left, people get mad. Choose right, people still get mad. Don’t try to appease haters by trying to fit everyone’s preferences; you will end up with more people hating you than you would have just by being yourself. Not everyone will like you, and the quicker you accept that, the quicker you will be on the road to accomplish more! When you are walking on eggshells try to please everyone, it’s impossible to be the best you can be! Forget that! Be you and love it!

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