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Inside the Beehive: Albert can tell the names of the stars

Arts

Inside the Beehive: Albert can tell the names of the stars

Albert Einstein

Albert Einstein

The reverend’s blatant voice is what made me feel jaded with the scriptures.

‘Do you know what happens when you break one of the Ten Commandments?’ he asked as his accusing eyes went around me.

Though I hadn’t gathered valour to speak out the answer I had it in mind already: Yeah man, I would be left with nine more to break.

I knew that would send him off to rest, you gonna hate this world if you met the piss ants.

Will reading the wrong pages give one a true picture of me? Certainly not. You should have sung the unsung songs to send the audience into frenzy.

By running a judicial eye over the sport car I could be in a favoured position to tell the goddamned yuppie who cruises the machine, and the amount of fortune it cost the mogul.

Posh and expensive cars are referred to as ‘she’ or ‘her’. Do you know why? Alright, here is the reason: Cars are improved by paint, the foreign ones are in demand, the newer models preferred, judged to a large extent by body style, expensive, undependable, temperamental, unpredictable and hard to get along without.

My only worry is that continuing with this explanation / description puts my security at threat and jeopardy. A she-gang may set me into an ambush and kick the sexism crap out of me.

During the latter years of his life Albert Einstein was one of the most lionised of men. Once at a party, his hostess led him to the window and pointing to the heavens said, ‘ I can spot Venus .It always shines like a beautiful woman’

Einstein smiled disapprovingly and said, “I’m sorry, but the star you’re pointing at is Jupiter”

“Oh, Dr. Einstein,” exclaimed the hostess, “you’re just wonderful. You can tell the sex of a star that is far away!” You won’t have to shout at length to have a man comprehend things because many a man are fast learners and employ a great deal of logic.

A woman is said to know more by intuition than man by reason. Certainly she has so many ways of knowing things that she does not need to follow the straight route of logic.

A feeling of being insecure in marriage at old age would propel a woman to ask questions like: Honey will you love me when my hair turns grey? And a man would reply with logic: Why not?

Haven’t I stuck with you through brown, black, red, blonde and purple hair? Really, if you have exercised tolerance for that long then what is the cause for the worry.

senkumbai@yahoo.com

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