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Honey, I missed my periods

Isa Senkumba

Honey, I missed my periods

I missed my periods

I missed my periods

If someone has ever told you this statement you must have taken her, “But we were careful”, “it was only once…” and many others.

When you eat the wrong mushrooms expect to miss your periods.  You climb the stage and participate in the monkey dance then later on complain that their tails are touching you. Is it a realistic complaint?  When we were growing up a catastrophe occurred at the neighborhood.  When our neighbour’s daughter missed her periods, the gatekeeper immediately packed his bags and disappeared, the girl’s mother committed suicide and father got an accident while driving probably engrossed in thoughts. That’s how serious missing periods can be.

Did you know that before the 19th Century, doctors had not realized periods were even linked to ovulation? The chapsthought that women needed to bleed to cool their emotional, hysterical natures. Other menstruation myths and misunderstandings also persisted, some of which are still alive today. Some people in India believe menstruating women make cows infertile, while in East Africa some say they dry out crops. And these aren’t the half of it.

In some communities period blood was thought to be an aphrodisiac. It is quite worrying that some people still believe this to be true. African folk magic called Hoodoo advises putting it into a guy’s coffee to make him fall for you. If there is a fool who has stubbornly refused to fall for you, better add this blood into his coffee. As you do it, remember God is watching you. In other cultures, period blood is also thought to have magical powers. In Hong Kong, an Indonesian maid added her blood to her boss’ food to improve their working relationship. Unfortunately it never worked. You can now imagine what your maid has put for you.

Did you know that having periods is also a sign of relief? Imagine someone who removed her pants, got down on her back and had it unprotected or live the way some people would wish to put it.  Such a person lives in awed fear that she conceived but the day she gets her menstrual periods is the very day she will shout “Halleluiah am not pregnant”

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