I am really tired of hearing how married men are to blame for the increasing spread of HIV in communities. So, when the Ntungamo District health educator, Nestorio Twesigye in one of the local dailies, blamed the increasing spread of HIV in the communities on men, saying many of them do not test to know their status as compared to their female counterparts, I smirked.
This is old news that isn’t worth mentioning anymore. Who doesn’t know that today the fastest means of getting infected with the HIV virus is by getting married? Marriage has not only turned into a cage for most women but it has also become a killing machine for the vulnerable.
It is only in marriage that people cannot abstain, or use condoms. Which woman can dare to come out and tell her husband that she wants to abstain from sex for some time if they are not sick or in their menstruation periods? I believe no one. Simply because many women fear losing their husbands to other women just in case they try to deny them sex. Others are blessed with bullies for men that even when they are sick, it wouldn’t curb their men from forcing them to have sex.
So, how can you expect such a woman to tell her husband to go for HIV testing ?
I believe the most important news would have been that a solution to save all those vulnerable married women has been found.
When it comes to marriage, there is a lot of unfairness. You find that one partner is faithful and the other cheats. So, the one who stays faithful to their partner (Mostly women) in return for their fidelity, they are infected with HIV and other sexually transmitted infections.
By the time they think of opting out, it is already too late. They are infected and with no hope for a cure.
So instead of acknowledging how married men are the cause for the increasing HIV prevalence, it is better we find a way to save the vulnerable married women.
Since it has been made clear by research reports that many married men cannot keep their zips closed before they get home, my suggestion is for the government to make the condom in a marriage compulsory or make it a criminal for a husband to infect his wife,
Otherwise, non-infected women risk getting infected with HIV the minute they enter the marriage institution.