`I have been forced to grow a beard

I will do anything on this planet to win admiration of women.  This time am going to grow a beard. Those of you without beards are missing out a lot. 

First of all, they only ‘think it looks gross, ‘ will be lined up around the block for a chance to pet it once it starts really filling in.

A beard makes you feel more masculine.  There is a natural ruggedness and toughness that’s associated with men who have full beards, and when you see your face without the oppression of razors, you develop a new appreciation for your own manliness. Did you also know that with a beard there is no more worry of razor burn or five o’clock shadows?

Men with full beards have a certain air about them; a respectable, authoritative air.   It’s cultured and refined.  It is the look of a man who has seen the world and has more than a few tales to tell about it. With a beard you resemble the well-traveled professor, or an experienced doctor who has saved more people than you have even met.  With such respect you can command any woman to undress and lie on her back with ease. Trust me!

Did you also know that a beard forces you to buck social norms? Despite the amazing things that a beard does for one’s self-confidence and self-image, a full beard being worn well has become a relatively rare sight in today’s feminized world of bald faces.  Even presidents don’t have the balls necessary to sport a full beard any more.  Can you imagine being the lucky one among the many people who have tried to grow beards but failed?

A young lady told me that men with beards look like animals. That’s fine. But what I know again is that ladies love a man as a fierce as a tiger in bed. If a beard makes me look like an animal, then am very good between the sheets. Try me if you can. That’s when you will know that am the true son of my father.

A man who owns his beard also appears to own the world around him.  He makes his decisions and sticks with them, he is not one to be second-guessed.  To all who see it, a beard is a sign of strength and masculinity.  It is a reminder of how nature intended man to be: powerful, confident, and self-assured.   Let’s get bushy boys; to be specific on the head.  Get me right!

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