Hullo there. A very good time to you, you and you. It’s okay this side of the living world except that we are getting a bit skeptical about some of the goings on in this life. But if someone of you over there has the access, the mobile number and can talk to the living God, please help us.
Call Him and ask Him to tell us what’s going on with His creations? And by this we mean the living things, the non living things here on the biosphere and under the seas. To hell with what’s happening up there in the great heavens or even on the other planets, both known and unknown, all busy whirling around the not yet burnt out source of light, the sun.
Anyway, that aside, hear you and learn about some of the weird things happening this side of the globe. Rumour, no, it’s a fact, has it that one Excellency, the leader or president of the republic of simanyi which country in West Africa, is making news. This elderly leader, on the heels of living in the sunset years of life, is a living example of akalogoli or a neer -do well .
Ever since he ascended to power three decades ago, having a poor background, born and grown in hovels, he spends his time watching films of pornography, enacting what he sees there by the bounds, eating all the savoury cusuines daily flown in by planes from France, and ignoring the feelings or thinking of the people he leads.
Someone once told me that it’s bad to allow people from poor backgrounds to ascend to high positions of leadership. However true that may be, me I know that I am the president of my household. Maama wa’baana is the First Lady, we have a first family coming rich with a first son, seven daughters and still counting.
Our residence is a Brown not White House and there, I am a dictator of sorts including, but not limited to okugaba enva awaka.
You are free to have your say on this but let’s face it; all of us are dictators of a kind and go through or enjoy different levels of madness. If you doubt this, just take a peek in the closets of a few certain fellas and you will know better.
Now, back to His Excellency. This damn chap happen to suffer from an inferiority complex because nature endowed him with an excuse of a kathing. His kathing is that small that the females he previously engaged in carnal workouts always spit in his face damning him that he is kajiiko mu pipa and that his pecker knows nothing about the drilling power of a guthing.
If you didn’t know, such is the worst bemeaning thing any man living can tolerate. So, when this Excellency heard of Senga Kiwedde found near the Magistrates Court in Makindye, he sought her help to salvage his esteem and have an enlargement of his pecker mbu so that it becomes a real raging whooper. And a whooper it has become thanks to the herbs this senga served him .
The damn man has now gone haywire oftentimes doing what you call ‘Omubiri gukole duyiro, oba giyite excercise.’ Having learnt of our own daughter of the soil who recently publicly declared that she has ‘ekitone’, His Excellency deployed two of his men to come here and cajole this girl owe’kitone for a bedmate. And what do you know? Dollars have been flowing the girl’s way and flattered, she became game.
Insiders in State House that side have disclosed to us that flushed to unequaled limits of sexexcitement, our dear girl went to work with the gusto of a horse or a wheelbarrow pusher. A video recording of her workouts with the mtukufu papa presido, among other things, show the following: Yes indeed, it affirms that our kagirl sincerely has ekitone.
She has a quarter inch length couple of labia minoras which she paints with deep red lip stick, no, this is labia stick, a couple of sincerely fat and smiling labia majoras located in a kibanja or shamba of a well laid and cleanly shaved akasaawe. Added to this include a fat clit kingdom which, on excitement, rises to life and sticks out like the length of your small finger, a hot red tunnel of understanding once very wide but now tightened fine with natural herbs coupled with a liberal flushing of love juices now and then in the course and amidst wild coitus galore.
It requires no foreplay to have this our daughter get in the mood of a sexual dance feist. Wapi. Just give her a couple of glasses of wine or Uganda Wa and she is game. Now, the campanion of her kabunidde, His Excellency the penis of a real president, flew into a rage of desire its owner having swallowed a couple of tablets of performance- enhancing Viagra and the rest of what happened is left to your fat imagination.
The girl sang your outlived sisiiri songs, shouted the ‘onzita sebo, ‘did the kabaka anjagala waist dance of the central division, doubled it up with dingi dingi, the kisoga waist dance wizardly, the ayi bambe fame from the southern connection and all the whatever.
For the three times we have viewed this couple engaged in the tangle of the groins, His excellency was clearly amused because he had on that stupid grin only men are known to wear when they are busy and furiously executing a rapid drilling of the holes of fame of abaana ba’bandi.
For those of you who may like to know about some of the wonders and the miles this girl can go to show she has ‘ekitone,’ just keep your ears on the ground and keep reading these columns.