Awkward Ideas: Who writes toilet graffiti?

Experienced and inverter ate roadside pissers understand what it means when a urinary bladder threatens to read a Riot Act. It makes your rather joyful errand a piece of hell. What if your sphincter muscles got incapacitated and urine drops stubbornly oozes out of the engine. You inevitably dive into the nearby bush, right? 

Thank God if there isn’t any malicious poster in the close vicinity reading: Don’t urinate here. Fine 10,000 Shs.  Mind you that is a mere precaution to refrain you from harming the green environment with your toxic uric acid. With the influx of numerous toilets and latrines round the town things are gradually getting back to order. Now you only dig out a coin of 500 Shs from your pocket and hand it over to the toilet man at the entrance who in return offers you a ticket in (toilet paper).

There is one place where every normal human must go to settle biological obligations; the toilet. Yes now you’re talking. Perhaps that’s the most important place though you may reluctantly admit. I won’t waste even a drop of sweat to drag you to admission because deep down in you there is no objection. Iam amazed by the happiness people derive while in toilets. It is the medley of happiness, idleness and creativity that inspires one to write graffiti on the walls of toilets. Little wonder the whites supply toilets with newspapers-just to keep the idle and happy minds busy. Creative and idle guys are out to explore their sense of humour in writing and drawing their political and social feeling on toilet walls, at least to coax a smile out of other toilet users.

Imagine you dashed into a public toilet for a short call especially the urinals in the male section. As you hold your nozzle to empty the tank, you are bound to realize that the wall in front of you has a statement inscribed on it reading: Man, you are holding your future so take care. Truly, if you lookdown upon what you are holding it is indeed your future.

I once read a statement in a public toilet at Entebbe-Kitooro with the same comic content as any other. Someone wrote that: My mother is a virgin. Well it is upon you to refute the statement or not but that’s it; after all he left no contacts for further interrogation.

On the door to a toilet at Makerere University (University Hall) someone jotted down a plea that; Once inside, don’t dare open you’re a nasty a* s if you won’t flash after. No matter how nasty it sounds he wrote it. Composers of graffiti must have complex mind sets and sometimes leave the readers with a basket of puzzles.

Here is another one. In a boys’ school someone wrote in the toilets that: Touching in human wastes (faeces) is bad. That’s a piece of advice that would have scored him a good credit. However, the writer himself did not inscribe the advice with a pen, marker or chalk but a finger using faeces as ink.  So he was digging up one hole to cover up another, isn’t it?

Another graffiti was found at a girls’ school in Lugazi reading: Life is sweet and full of comedies; lady if you have time to read this then your are through so get out of the toilet so that others outside also enter. With this I think ladies are quite cool with their toilet comments- I mean they don’t write hostile statements like men do. The fact that no one dodges a toilet for two mature days makes toilets graffiti a good advertising media. Give it a try.

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